Are you burdened by thoughts, tired and weary from what’s happening in the world? Feeling as if no matter what you do, they will all be too small or insignificant, and that it would not make a difference?
In our increasingly complex world, we often encounter a multitude of challenges that can leave us feeling overwhelmed and disempowered. Many of the things that concern us today are clearly beyond our control, yet we cannot seem to stop worrying about them. Everything from global warming to pandemics, from recession to war, all of these can certainly impact us mentally and emotionally, and yes, even physically, leaving us feeling helpless or hopeless.
Perhaps we can learn a thing or two from Marcus Aurelius to shift us from feeling helpless towards empowered. The Roman Emperor wrote in his personal writings, Meditations, “there is never any need to get worked up or to trouble your soul about the things you can’t control.” This is one of the philosophies in Stoicism, which differentiates between what we can change and what we can’t.
In order to differentiate the two, it’s helpful to list down some of the things that we can and cannot control, as well as what lies in between.
You can categorize them as follows:
“Things I can control”
These are aspects of our life which we have direct control and areas where we can take meaningful action and make a positive difference. We should try to focus most of our attention, energy, and resources on these things.
- Selfcare (nutrition, sleep, movement, lifestyle, living environment)
- My words
- Thoughts
- Actions
- Attitude
- Intentions
- Mindset
- Mood
- Tone
- Reactions
- Decisions
- My boundaries
“Things I can influence”
These are the in-betweens, a gray area where we may or may not have the power to expand our influence into this region to create change, but we can certainly try, bearing in mind that even though we can control our efforts here, we may not necessarily have control over the outcomes. It is wise to spend some of our energy in this area.
- My children’s future
- My family
- My relationships
- My reputation
- The environment
- Who I vote for
“Things that are outside of my control”
This encompasses a broader range of external factors, challenges, and circumstances that we may care about but which are clearly beyond our control. This includes aspects such as the economy, climate, and weather, but also most of the actions, reactions, behaviors and feelings of other people.
- Traffic jam
- The weather
- Economy
- Other people’s opinions & actions
- The media
- War
- World peace
- Death
- Outcomes
- The past
- The future
Next time you find yourself going down the rabbit hole of worrying about all the troubles that are happening, or you feel like you are carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, use this tool to gently remind yourself to focus on the things you can control, not on the things that are outside of your control.
Gwen Winarno is a certified Holistic Health Coach
from the Institute for Integrative Nutrition (IIN).
She is living and working remotely from Bali
to help clients worldwide with her Living Well with Gwen
coaching programs that focus on mind and body health.
